Recruiting is like The Bachelor…

So you think recruitment is easy. I mean pfft, what’s involved – you just match a resume against a job spec and voila right? Yeah, no. If you want to know what recruiting is REALLY like…watch The Bachelor. So Richie is like the job right? He’s the main prize and all the women are applicants. This makes me, Osha ( the host). Which is fabulous, because he has hair like a Ken doll and everyone wants to be remembered for their hair. So Recruiter Osha has the really hard job of trying to keep the job vacancy under control and the job of herding cats (the candidates). It’s pretty obvious there are some good applicants in the bunch, but there is a whole heap of screening to do, to weed out the ones who just don’t meet the brief.

‘The Cinderella’

This candidate is the one who just plain scares you and makes you eternally grateful you have your Facebook privacy levels set to ‘stalker proof’. On the face it of it, they look like they have the skills for the job, but it’s not long before you realise that they not only walk to the beat of their own drum, it’s not even a drum, it’s an accordion played by leprechauns. This candidate will never really understand why they don’t get the job, but they don’t let it get them down because they know that good things are just around the corner.

‘The Mean One’

The candidate who has always gets exactly what they want, and when they want it. Probably quite good at sales because they have the hide of an elephant and buckets of confidence and self belief. Whenever this type of candidate leaves a job, they have has a massive leaving party where spirits are high. They think it’s because they are so popular, but really it’s just people celebrating that they are leaving. This candidate is completely unable to see their own faults and will be aggressive and demanding through the whole recruitment process. If they don’t get the job, they will immediately espouse that the process was rigged and that they didn’t want the job anyway. Very sore loser.

‘The Blunderer’

Well, people are just plain nuts aren’t they? Just when you thought that nothing can surprise you, this is the candidate who is likely to turn up at the interview with a song they wrote themselves and the nerve to sing it. Makes terrible blunder at interview, but is completely unable to read the sheer horror on the face of the interviewer and just keeps blundering away. When told they are unsuccessful, they are likely to demand a ten page document outlining why they have been successful.

‘The Terribly Inappropriate One’

Applies for a job that requires a certain level of sophistication and polish. Turns up at interview and swears. If you are lucky, realises that they are out of their depth and pulls out of the process early. The best candidate of the bunch in lots of ways – keen to work but smart enough to know when the culture isn’t right for them. You will keep your eye out for a job for this one because you know that when they do get the right role, they will be fabulous. And there you have it…you can never identify the crazy, the bizarre and the inappropriate from a resume. And that is why we ‘Oshas’ need fierce hair and the ability to shake it off. And it’s not an easy job at all.